In Pakistan, issues like child sex abuse (CSA) and rape are taboo and not spoken about much. People have their voices quelled. A majority of the victims are not vocal about their traumatic ordeals & the actual amount of cases are never known because they never get reported. People wonder why there is never enough crackdown against the perpetrators, but for action, you need to have the courage to defeat taboos ingrained into people because of misogyny and patriarchy & speak up. Question things, break down taboos, be vocal and report. Once you start doing this at the grassroots level and more people start speaking up, everyone from the media, bureaucracy and the justice system will notice and do something about such issues.
Unfortunately, in the cultures that thrive in the sub-continent, because topics are taboo and people — including curious children, are scolded whenever they try to speak up about issues or ask questions, no one ever gets the proper education and information regarding things. Mothers do not educate their daughters on how to safeguard themselves, become street smart and self-aware, and instead of raising good sons who do not engage in such activities as sex abuse and rape; the whole emphasis is on how to keep women from leaving their houses and becoming an integral part of society.
The kind of sex abuse and rape culture prevalent is mostly more common in the lower economic strata of society, however having said that, it is everywhere. Just look at the case of Noor Muqaddam, who was brutally tortured, raped and killed at the hands of a supposed feminist ally, an educated person belonging to one of the most well to do business families of Pakistan. This culture stems from many different things, but mostly, it is religious beliefs mixed with traditional cultural practices that have brandished in the thoughts of illiterate people and those who are easily influenced and brainwashed.
The culture of protecting honour has stemmed from a few beliefs found in different religious doctrines, this culture has brainwashed people over many years, and it has reiterated in their minds in the form of archaic thoughts and practices. The problem starts from the fact that people are afraid to talk about different things with their children, including those things that are taboo to talk about in society and stigmatised. Even before this, the main issue is that most parents do not have an open and communicative relationship with their children; they do not foster that nature in their children, to be honest, and share things with their parents.
The parents are narcissistic personalities in Pakistani households, and it is usually the father who is the harsh and dominating figure in the kids’ lives due to the patriarchal and misogynistic nature of the society and family system. However, the mother can also have a controlling influence on the children. Have you read the figure of speech, too much love will kill you? In the Pakistani family system, it is true. Too much love can and is toxic for your children and by mollycoddling them, parents forbid and hinder their personal and professional growth and development. The girls especially are not allowed to go on a self-discovery journey to explore themselves, the world, life and see who they are. They are not allowed to be true and real to themselves or others.
The environment at home is not conducive to hold productive and positive conversations. Silenced children are not allowed to ask questions, and most stay quiet out of fear of getting on the angry side of their parents & facing abuse of some sort. Those who dare raise questions are tortured, oppressed into silence and mocked for being ‘rebellious’. Children living in a harmful, fearful and dysfunctional family environment will not talk to their parents about anything, let alone something related to a taboo incident they have observed or experienced.
The whole culture needs an avid overhaul because it is high time developing countries got rid of such cases. Educated children are the backbone of any society; they grow up as responsible and mature adults and change it for its betterment. They are the fuel of change and progress. The callous attitude shown towards raising children can have devastating consequences. The lack of importance towards educating them, verbally and physically abusing them, silencing them; children continuing to be the target of such heinous crimes in Pakistani society and living with misery & trauma all their lives will lead to them not becoming sane adults that society requires to take it forward.
A society needs their children to grow up well and handle the responsibilities. Get more children to ask questions and answer them. We need people, in general, to start speaking up more and asking more questions because if there is to be any change, it will happen when people come out from the shadows and taking stands for themselves. It will happen when people start being more vocal and questioning more.
