As a preliminary note, I would like to clarify that the type of cancer I will discuss in the article is not breast cancer but lung cancer. As a result of increased breast cancer awareness, I am triggered every October to remember and grieve the loss of my grandmother, who passed away from lung cancer. Seeing all the breast cancer awareness posts makes me realise that cancer is a reality we sometimes tend to ignore. It is something that has the ability to steal our dearly loved ones from us, forever changing our lives. Unfortunately, due to my grandmother’s lung cancer, I feel morally responsible for raising breast cancer awareness every October, mainly because I believe it is an important cause. The last thing I want is for additional people to lose their lives due to ignorance or lack of awareness.
I adored my dearly beloved grandmother because she was a very fierce, brave and strong woman. Although she hailed from a small village in Pakistan, upon marrying my grandfather, she moved to Kuwait and brought significant changes into their lives. The topic of women’s empowerment and feminism has received considerable attention recently, but my grandmother was also a strong feminist in her own time. She not only empowered women around her during her lifetime but was an empowered and vocal woman herself despite her village background and lack of formal education.
When she was young, despite her family being extremely wealthy — her father owned a vast amount of land and was a prominent agriculturalist — it was not common for the daughters to be educated in school; the sons, however, were sent to school and later to a university that also as long as their families were at least moderately progressive; not all men ended up getting tertiary education. It was common for sons to enter the workforce as soon as possible, whether by picking up a trade/craft, securing a job on the side or working for their fathers; women, however, married as soon as possible, as in the case of my grandmother who married at the age of 13 years old.
It is noteworthy that despite getting married at a very young age and having no formal education, my paternal grandmother was a knowledgeable individual who overcame numerous obstacles throughout her life. Grandmother owned a successful restaurant, was a millionaire and had three intelligent and well-educated children. As far as I am aware, it was not my grandfather who pushed his sons to travel to the United States for further education. Instead, my grandmother desired for her children to achieve more than they did and live better and happier lives. She also encouraged her husband to think critically about their children’s education. It was she who led our family in the direction of growth and prosperity, and I owe much of who I am today to her foresight.
I believe that my father would have remained the same Pakistani man as the rest if it weren’t for my grandmother’s decision to send him to the United States for further education. I am very proud of the fact that my father has ensured his daughters attend the most prestigious universities and supported them in whatever they aspire to do, unlike most other Pakistani men who cage their women at home, do not let them leave home alone, prevent them from driving, studying, working or interacting with friends. Thus, his daughters have been entirely free to live as they choose, unlike most Pakistani women who live with men who cage them at home. In part, this can be attributed to my strong and vocal grandmother, who was determined not to allow her children to conform to patriarchal, misogynistic stereotypes.
In any case, I have attempted to paint a picture. I hope I have succeeded in portraying a positive image of my strong grandmother, who overcame hardship and struggle at every turn in her life, never giving up and never giving in to difficult circumstances. Although she lived an incredibly fulfilling life, she succumbed to a disease that affected many people: cancer. Then, after a long time of being strong, she had to give up. It was lung cancer, not breast cancer that she suffered from. She was diagnosed with cancer too late due to medical negligence by her treating doctor and the hospital where she was admitted. We could not save her when we discovered what had happened. Instead, we had to deal with the excruciating and tragic loss of someone we loved.
The hospital experience was one of the most challenging times of my life as I witnessed my grandmother’s deteriorating health, and for the first time in my life, I felt as if she was on the verge of dying without consciously attempting it. A strangely bizarre feeling developed in me as a result of this situation. I was heartbroken for her as I watched her lie helpless and miserable in the ICU, in severe pain and suffering. It left me perplexed. How could someone so strong and fiercely determined as my grandmother give up on life so easily? However, I knew deep down that my grandmother did not wish to die and leave us so soon, but she had no choice but to do so. As a result of neglected lung cancer complications, my grandmother passed away, causing me tremendous sorrow, which I continue to carry.
Due to breast cancer awareness every October, I revisit the memory of my paternal grandmother dying of cancer every year. As an ironic twist of fate, my maternal grandmother passed away in October. As a result, this month is marked with a great deal of grief for me. It has been my reflection during the month of October as to whether there could have been a way to save my grandmother’s life, prevent her death from occurring so soon and cure her lung cancer. The events surrounding her passing occurred when I was very young, and I was unable to handle anything, so everything was left in the hands of the adults; however, I am able to recall them in vivid detail, as though they had just occurred yesterday.
Each year, the only thing that comes to mind is the need to take preventive measures. If my grandmother had known better, she might not have dismissed her symptoms as non-life threatening or unnecessary. Instead, she would have sought a healthcare professional to be provided a thorough diagnostic examination. Her cancer symptoms were also not recognised as potentially fatal because she lacked the support she needed to get feedback from others or the self-awareness to seek medical attention and recognise that there was something seriously wrong with her body. Additionally, due to a lack of concern for her health, her health and well-being were neglected, resulting in her death. She would have had a higher chance of detecting cancer early, allowing her to be cancer-free if she had taken preventive or proactive measures regarding her health and had received regular checkups annually. However, she tragically lost her life.
It is possible that the outcome may have been different, and she may have survived if she had been an educated, informed, independent, strong, self-aware woman who cared for her health and well-being; this is precisely why I am so passionate about breast cancer awareness each year. As part of my efforts to raise breast cancer awareness, I message all women on my contact list, tweet about it and post about it on social media, etc. My grandmother’s passing away from lung cancer motivates me to promote awareness about breast cancer. Therefore, I strive to raise awareness in any way I can.
I want to encourage women to be self-aware and educated, research symptoms online, explore their bodies and understand what their bodies usually look like to detect abnormalities or anomalous behaviour quicker. Breast cancer is a severe disease that affects millions every year. Women must take it seriously and have their breasts checked at least once a year, if not more frequently, to ensure that they are in good health. If someone has a partner, their partner can make it a point to keep an eye out and check for them, thus making it a collaborative effort to ensure a healthy and safe lifestyle.
No one should suffer the loss of their life or a loved one due to a lack of caution and failure to take health seriously. PEOPLE MUST TAKE BREAST CANCER SERIOUSLY. Please become involved in breast cancer awareness activities online or in your community. Please spread the message about breast cancer as widely as you can, as I am doing by publishing this article on Medium. In conclusion, I hope that if a woman reads this, she will be encouraged to get a mammogram if she is over 40 or to continue to check her breasts for lumps and irregularities, even if she is not over 40. So take good care of yourself and stay healthy.
