Your actions have the power to shape your life, but so do reactions. The actions we take and how we respond to certain situations always influence who we are. People can control a certain amount of their actions. However, what about the things we react to? Our reactions? We have limited control over that — our ability to predict when, why, and how something will occur dwindles. We do not know what to expect in advance nor how we will react when it does. Therefore, we are constantly challenged by something. As a result, it serves as a test to determine how we will respond to a situation, and that reaction and its outcome are what shape us.
Consider the analogy of being behind the wheel and on the road. The importance of safely driving cannot be overstated and is something you have some control over. For example, you can stay within the speed limit, abide by traffic rules, etc. But is there any aspect of road safety you cannot control? You are not in a position to control the actions of other road users and sometimes your reaction to a situation resulting from their actions. Perhaps you are the most confident and safest driver on the road. However, a driver may suddenly strike your vehicle by driving over the speed limit while on a joyride or being unable to maintain control of their vehicle due to inebriation. In these situations, your response to someone else’s actions will significantly impact how the situation unfolds. As an example, if your reflexes and concentration are sharp, you may be able to swerve the vehicle away from a collision. If you fail to act and wait until something terrible occurs, you will likely suffer negative and detrimental consequences. For example, a collision with a vehicle can result in the loss of life because you did not react efficiently and positively to safeguard yourself.
Whenever we have to respond to something, we are constantly faced with a choice. In a nutshell, there are two basic choices: to take action or not to do anything. For example, if the individual responds to a given situation, the individual must determine whether to take severe action or ignore the situation. Ignoring the situation or planning to ‘not react’ is also a form of reacting.
We are often forced to think and react in response to a few major or minor life events. Emotions are a significant factor that triggers our reactions. Among the most common emotional triggers is the negative emotion of anger. Retaliation is a natural reaction we feel we need to experience when we are angry, regardless of the reason for our anger. In retaliation, we give ourselves an outcome that shapes us and makes us learn, whether a good or a wrong lesson.
We sometimes commonly repeat the same actions without learning anything from them; however, in most cases, we gain some insight from them. It is also possible to receive feedback, like positive criticism, from others, sometimes from our closest friends and family members. As long as you are willing to grow and develop your personality, there is always something new to learn. Anyhow, whether we acknowledge and learn from our experiences or bury our lessons and store them in our subconscious is another matter altogether.
When you are antagonised by something or someone who has caused you harm or wrong, you experience negative emotions like bitterness, hatred and anger. There is also a sense of regret that that life event should not have happened. Anger, in particular, can be both a good and terrible emotion. We can realise our ability to use anger for our benefit if we manage our reactions when provoked to express anger. When we are angry, our minds are full of many thoughts. Humans can express anger by venting. Sometimes in the course of anger, things come to light in our minds that have been buried. We did not even realise we were thinking about them. Those things are also the source of anger. So feeling angry and venting helps us to cope with our emotions. In times of anger, we often cry to release our tension, giving us a sense of relief.
Unfortunately, some individuals are unable to control their emotions and reactions. People with sharp tongues, for example, may experience this problem. They respond violently to situations; as a result, causing damage to themselves and others. Many factors contribute to how people are affected by the actions of others, and it can lead to reactions that they may regret or may not regret. Some individuals may be able to deal with emotions more effectively, limiting their reactions and not being overwhelmed by other people’s actions. Other individuals are more likely to respond aggressively to people with tongues and wit.
Life will inevitably put you in a compromising position at times. You will be tested on several levels, including your patience. Count yourself lucky if that time has not yet come for you or you have not encountered a problematic situation yet that infuriates you. Being stuck in such a situation is one of the most frustrating experiences. You will likely be pressured and forced to react. You may feel that your patience is running out. You will feel as if there is no alternative but to give up. As a result, you will have the impression that you are alone and no one is on your side. There will be a great deal of anger. So many emotions will likely be running haywire in your mind. The emotional situations described above will test you and your entire existence. The response to such situations and the action you take afterwards will teach you a lesson and make you have an experience that will stick with you forever, reminding you of what happened and how you should not repeat it.
Our actions and reactions are usually perceived as being for the benefit of others, and sometimes we may be conditioned to believe that as well. A false belief is instilled in us that we are best served by serving others. The purpose of acting virtuously and demonstrating exemplary behaviour is to demonstrate to others what an individual is capable of. Kindness and empathy are always directed toward others, not ourselves. It is intended to impress other individuals. Therefore, it is vital that we should be selfless and always keep others in mind before considering our interests. It is repeatedly told that we should be cautious about our actions and reactions so that others will not judge us or be displeased with us. We are designed to show people everything in a positive light and project it outwardly to avoid creating a negative impression on them through our actions and reactions.
Moreover, even if you are a terrible person who violates society’s rules and is cruel to others, among other things, you are still projecting a picture of the character and personality that you possess to the rest of the world. People negatively judge your actions and reactions instead. The most meaningful thing for you to be is your true self; showing others who you are or fitting into others’ expectations is not as significant as being yourself. Maintain a sense of self-acceptance. It would be best if you were mindful of the effects your actions and reactions will have on you. Do not worry about the opinions of others. Instead, you must consider how they will influence you and how you will develop. You should take time to contemplate whether the image of yourself you envision is one you wish to project and live by.
Practice self-compassion. Being kind and treating yourself well will enable you to react more calmly and differently. The ability to show compassion to yourself will assist you in getting through difficult times. It will also help you to handle and react to situations differently than you might have otherwise. For example, if you love yourself, you would not wish to harm yourself. Therefore, you would not be tempted to do anything stupid, evident in your actions and reactions. According to research, self-compassion improves resilience, decreases vulnerability, improves our psychological well-being, and promotes empathy towards others.
In theory, it is acceptable and helpful to think differently and reflect that in our actions. However, in practice, this is easier said than done. An emotion like anger can be challenging to control. The reactions we have to certain things in life are difficult to control, particularly when they are caused by extraneous factors over which we have no control. Humans are prone to becoming angry when we do not have control over a situation. It is human nature to get angry and frustrated when we fear something.
Learning from the actions and reactions in our practical life should be a significant element of our life’s educational process. To formulate the most effective strategy to deal with a situation, you should always preemptively consider your actions and reactions; this will determine how the rest of your life will be, whether you can learn and grow from your mistakes and the situations you encounter, or whether you are trapped in a toxic repetitive pattern that you cannot escape.
